Monday 26 March 2012

Mars Bars On Steroids

Mars Bars on Steroids
I said to my sister,
“my mum might like to be buried with her Mars Bars, but I'll be buried with my steroids!”
Gang introduced me to Magnum Bars,
(Like Mars Bars on steroids with vanilla).
“LESLIE! LESLIE! we found Mars Bars...
we didn't get them though, sorry.”
Look, see, eat
Killer cats and dreams of Mars Bars and chocolate éclairs,
Oreos, Kit Kats, Jaffa cakes, Snickers, Mars Bars, Kellogg's Frosties, Bananas, Coco Puffs, Marshmallows, Coffee, Reese's Peanut Butter
Heck, you can even add powdered protein to the mix.
Chocolate vodka: a recipe for disaster?
Prepare the vodka and the Mars Bars,
Push the chopped up Mars Bars through the neck of the bottle and into the vodka,
Put the lid back on the vodka bottle,
Place the vodka bottle into a dishwasher and run a cycle,
Give the bottle a good shake,
Remove from the dishwasher.
Climb onto your neighbour's roof and dangle a fish on a bit of string in front of his windows. He'll think his house is underwater.
Too old to go on an 18 to 30 holiday?
I'm 30 years old, weigh 123lb as of noon today and my body fat is 13%.. possibly less.
Rate this candy bar out of 10:
Reeks of sophistication but gets sickly before you've finished the whole bar.
Body building, fitness and anabolic steroids mega site.
Television watching: Mars Bars, awards and singing unlike a Soprano.
Don't invite drug addicts round for a meal on boxing day.
King-sized Mars Bars make ideal normal-sized Mars Bars, for giants,
normal-sized Mars Bars make ideal king-sized Mars Bars for dwarfs, as well as fun-sized ones for giants,
fun-sized Mars Bars make ideal normal sized Mars Bars for midgets.

Friday 1 April 2011

New to blogging

To whoever takes the time to read this.
Hi there. I'm an aspiring writer who's decided to start blogging due to curiosity and boredem. This blog will include original work by me (poems, short stories, etc) and probably some random stuff just because I feel like it. 
That is all. Welcome and enjoy (0^_^0)
P.S. Please don't repost my work anywhere else without my permission, or claim it as your own. Trust that I'll find out.